Okay, sweetheart, you are wearing a lanyard with a printed strap and I'm pretty sure there is a sparrow family living in your hair.  Therefore, you kind of deserve what you have coming to you.  

That lemur (Misty Savage) is hungry for bitches like you and she is on the verge of an on-like-donkey-kong attack.  Misty has had enough of  her artificial milieu and of posing freaks that wear, what looks like, 3 layers of clothing. Lemurs can only endure so much bullshit.  

But we know you've learned your lesson. Good luck with learning to speak again.

GROSS LEMUR ART.

I find this lemur pop-art to be both hauntingly grotesque and hauntingly appealing. Miss Lemur is wearing a thong and is the proud owner of a very bodacious booty which is clearly inappropriate for a lemur but instills a level of mortifying jealousy within me.  I get so uncomfortable when I find myself envious of penned anthropomorphic characters.  And she's so skinny!!!!!
As for Mr. Lemur, (who was created from a picture of Richard Lewis) he is CREEPY.  Miss Lemur's troubled expression and physical retraction are warranted.
While I respect the artist's attempt at off-beat eroticism, I feel they may have fallen short.....Unless, of course,
there is a cult of overweight, lemur-chat-room and lemur-porn addicted adolescents on the loose that I am, thankfully, unaware of.


To summarize:  I think lemurs are actually too attractive and too jungle-jaded to be turned into fictional sex symbols.   There I said it : Lemurs are sexy.  Just the way they are.

The Truth About Rock-Stars.

Dearest Reader,
I am getting the feeling that you are somewhat shocked at the content of this photo.  Allow me to clarify in case you have thus far missed the point of this web-log:
LEMURS ARE BAD-ASS.  ROCK-STARS ARE BAD-ASS.  MOST ROCK-STARS ARE ACTUALLY LEMURS.
You dig? 

Pending Doom.

This woman is about to lose her custom-designed-Angelina Joli-face.  Let's also hope that this little guy (Anderson Cooper Jr.) takes a shit on her shirt.  No one need don Coors Light apparel in this day and age.

Lemurs + Flatulence.

Just like you and I, lemurs sometimes suffer from uncomfortable gas.  Here we see Prudence Warhol (Yes, Andy's great-great grandmother was a lemur.) demonstrating their ingenious method of moving trapped air out of the body.  Perhaps you also employ this custom, as I do.

A little slice of trivia for you:  Lemurs created Child's Pose before the yogis did as a way to cure acidic indigestion, aka the farts.

There you have it.  Lemurs are not only indomitably intrepid, they are influential innovators and ancestors of such.

FAILURE.

How cute! You love lemurs, too!  However, you will NEVER fool anyone with that innocent, candy-coated grin.  Have you ever seen a lemur with such an expression of tenderness?  No, nor have I. And your anatomically and personality-incorrect costume are ruining the street credentials of lemurs everywhere.
Find a way to knit your virgin brows and assault people with your half-empty jaw.  Then we can talk.

The Classic Intimidator

"Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have f’ed with? That’s me."

It's common knowledge that Clint Eastwood used this fellow as his character inspiration for Walt Kawalski in Gran Torino.

Yeah, this Lemur (let's call him Brock VonCruell) said that first.

I'm TELLING YOU, ALREADY! Lemurs are flawlessly bad-ass.